unconventional boy - sometimes change requires getting a little unconventional

When what used to work…doesn’t anymore.

My kid doesn’t like to go to bed.

Anymore.

As in, it hasn’t always been like this. Six months ago, bedtime was a “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” situation which I’ll admit to misappropriating credit for on more than one occasion. “Wow, I must really be doing something right!” “Why are other parents complaining about bedtime so much, it’s not that hard.”

And then, something changed.

Maybe it was a growth spurt. Changing classrooms at daycare. Realizing his little brother was like, a permanent addition to our family. The Santa Ana winds blowing squarely at 54’ to the vertex of Venus. But by golly does this child resist bedtime now.

Every. Single. Night.

There’s nothing quite like thinking you’re winning at [parenting. marketing. running your biz.] only to realize you’ve gotten comfortable with the status quo and conflated “how it is now” with “how it will be forever.”

News flash: what worked before, might not work forever. And whether this new normal is cutting into quality couch time watching reruns of White Collar on Hulu, or your previously high-converting website suddenly not converting, it’s inconvenient at best.

Change is inconvenient. And awkward. And time consuming. And, at times, messy. It’s inconvenient to get off the couch for the ninth time and put your zombie child back to bed. Awkward to try new strategies for the first time. Time consuming to figure out other ways to bring in leads. Messy to rejigger the system so it humms again.

The top complaint I’ve heard from business owners this year goes something like this, “I used to do X to grow my business and now X isn’t working. What happened?” Most are looking for concrete reasons to explain the change – shifting market trends or socio-economical factors. But while it’s important to put effort into why trends changed, the usefulness of your pursuit lies in figuring out your next step:

That happened. Which resulted in this. And now I’m going to…

It’s easy to get caught in the cause. To try and pinpoint the precise time and location and temperature. To figure out why. Humans want to know why. Little humans especially want to know why. Why why why. Why? Because answering “why” is how we understand the world.

But you can only ride the theoretical “why” train for so long before you reach the end of the line (or lose your patience, whichever comes first). And that’s the point at which (well, ideally the stop before) you have to turn your focus to action. And focusing on the action is asking yourself “how.”

How can I use my theories (minus the one about the Santa Ana winds, that’s not a thing) to inform my actions? How can I solve this problem? How can I rejigger the system to make it work again? How can I move forward? How can I take action?

Here’s the thing about taking action: It can and should feel like throwing spaghetti against the wall. Testing new ideas can and should result in a whole lot of flops. And if at times your ideas feel (or, are) a little crazy unconventional, you’re doing it right.

  • Let the kid watch TV with you (fail).
  • Throw more money at ads (unwise).
  • Find a new niche (impractical).
  • Redefine your target audience (viable).
  • Spend more time connecting with your kid bedtime (priceless).
  • Hire a coach to give you some fresh perspective (smart).

Simply put, in the process of finding what doesn’t work, you inform what might. Find the 10% of every unhinged idea and make it better. Then do that again and again.

The truth is change is inevitable (thank you, Captain Obvious).

The question is, are you going to be the kid who goes right to sleep? Or the one who pushes the boundaries of bedtime to find a new normal (that, hopefully works for everyone)?


Business of Life / Life of Business is an email about life lessons that apply to business, and business lessons that apply to life. Each is inspired by being a mom of littles, 15 years of digital marketing experience, and a penchant for creative endeavors.

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